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Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.
I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
Sit down and give your mind a rest.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.